On Thursday I received my severance letter from Best Buy, leaving me 30 days to find a new position here or leave the company where I’ve worked for 18 years. Not one of my favorite days.

Unlike some of my 249 friends in the same position, I brought this on myself.  Literally.

Back in December, I was watching and listening intently to all the changes at Best Buy. I spent a lot of time thinking about what would be best for my company and what I wanted in my career. This process led me to two conclusions:

First, my team’s work - along with the rest of Best Buy - must completely change this year.  At a tactical level (among other issues), we have had two director-level positions, which doesn’t make sense in today’s environment. At a strategic level, the work itself must be reinvented. And, while I’ve got ideas on this, I’m not convinced I’m the one to lead this chapter of the team’s future.

Second, I have a dream, a vision, for the next phase of my career. I’ve been laying the groundwork, and it has been coming together. Slowly. For months. Years even. In the meantime, I have done great work that provides huge benefit to the company. And I’ve been congratulating myself for my patience and my ability to drive results for the good of the organization.

Now, I have an overwhelming sense that this is the time. That the stars have aligned. That I have much to offer to Best Buy, in a role that can fulfill me.  That can benefit the company while taking my career in a new direction. 

I told all this to my leadership. And, that they should plan a new team organization without me. So that I can follow my dream.

Right now, my dream involves building a better Best Buy. I have so much to offer this company. I continue to believe that my work here is not yet done.  

Meanwhile, my friends who have chosen to follow their dreams have inspired me to be courageous. To go after my passion. So, I’ve taken a pretty big risk – letting go of relative safety and stepping into what I hope will be a new position in a new area at Best Buy.

Of course, there are no guarantees. If my career path doesn’t come together, now, here at Best Buy, then I need to drive toward my dream on my own.

I try to believe that I’m comfortable with this, that I’m at peace with it. Not sure that’s entirely true. It’s scary. The economy is daunting. Not completely sure I’m ready for the challenge.

But,  my dreams remain. Now is the time for me to chase them, wherever that may take me.

We are, indeed, working in an unprecedented environment. Just over a week from now will the last day of work for about 500 of my co-workers, those who chose to opt into Best Buy’s voluntary severance package. Soon thereafter, we will learn how involuntary layoffs will impact our workforce.

So, in every hallway conversation, every meeting, every casual greeting, we hear a common refrain: Are you staying? And an even more common response, I hope so!

At the same time, we are beginning the last month of our fiscal year. Crunching data for year’s end.  Finishing projects. Prioritizing new work. Buttoning up plans for a new fiscal year that will undoubtedly be like no other in our history.

And of course, the day-to-day business rolls on. Weekly ads. New initiatives. Product lines. System upgrades. Contracts. All the things that need to happen every day to run a $40 billion retailer.

This leaves just about everyone feeling rather, well, weird.  We are all trying to get work done, trying to make a difference, plan for the future. At the same time, we wonder what the future here will look like. How we’ll accomplish all our goals. And to whom we’ll say farewell along the way.

Through all this angst, I hold onto two truths. First, that our company values have - and will continue to – guide us through this time. And second, that we work in an environment where we can talk, openly and honestly, about this time and how we’re dealing with it.

Because it is weird.  We’re transforming ourselves into a startup company with 40 years of history. If it weren’t weird, we’d probably be on the wrong track.

During the 1990s. Circuit was a national player — the bohemoth with whom Best Buy was striving to compete. At that time, we (at Best Buy) were only a regional player, entering new markets one at a time and slowly overcoming mid-size foes like Highland, Fretter, and Silo. At the time, CIrcuit City was big time, a grownup - we, the adolesecents, only hoped to one day be as big.

For me personally, a large part of my mid-90s job responsibility was managing Best Buy’s competitive shopping teams. Like all electronics retailers, we had – and still have – a team of employees whose full-time job  was to shop the competition and adjust our pricing to meet or beat our competitors. Working this team, my coworkers and I displayed instantaneous response times and a fierce loyalty to Best Buy, mixed with a fair amount of covert behaviors and, in retrospect, a pretty unhealthy level of competitive spirit.

So, I admit, I’ve shopped Circuit stores quite a bit, mostly while reciting their posted prices into a hidden microrecorder. I’ve listened to their sales pitches, to determine how far they’d cut a price to make the sale. I’ve taken photos of their displays. I’ve reverse-engineered their sales strategies. And, I’ve told my fair share of Circuit City jokes.

In recent years, though, Circuit has just become… well… sad. Their strategy slowly turned into cloning Best Buy. Their store employee uniforms, operating model, pay structure, and marketing strategy all became eerily similar to ours. At one point, they even went on an all-out mission to hire away our employees.

Looking back, I notice that I had hoped that Circuit would transform themselves into a formidable opponent. I liked the competition. The head-to-head battle royale. The simplicity of the rivalry.

In a few select offerings – like their online channel – Circuit City did some cool stuff. But mostly, their uniqueness just degraded, and their brand became indistinct in the market. Their demise was just a matter of time.

So, now my heart goes out to all the Circuit City employees who tried to resurrect their company. To all the people who will now look for work in this tough environment. And to all the former Best Buy employees who tried to help reinvent Circuit. Many friends are impacted by this, and I pray that they find success for themselves and their families.

And, I mourn the loss of a rivalry that, in the consumer electronics space at least, felt like the cola wars.

At the same time, my mind turns to the future of consumer electronics. CE has long been a cutthroat environment, with many technologies, suppliers and retailers competing for attention. Like so many industries, the retail landscape has moved from local to national players. From brick-and-mortar to online. And from specialty to mass merchandisers.  

The game has changed before, it’s transforming now, and it’s sure to keep changing in the future.

Still, this feels like a watershed moment – like shopping for electronics may transform to a completely new game. What that will look like, I’m not sure. Many forces are at work here. Lots of potential directions, the situation even more tenuous in today’s economy. Frankly, it’s a little scary.

But, Best Buy is grown up now. We’ve learned to stay on our toes and keep transforming ourselves.

And, personally, I’m up for it. My response will be to build on what I’ve learned — responding quickly, redoubling my loyalty – and figure out how to win in this new game.

Hopefully I won’t need that old microrecorder.

About two weeks ago, Best Buy announced that it is offering voluntary severance packages to virtually all its corporate employees (including me). Much ado has been made of this, both in the media and here at Best Buy. So before sharing my own opinions, let me clarify a few points:

- Right now, leaving the company is voluntary.  Each individual employee chooses whether this is the right move for him/ her. We all have eyes wide open that this is the first move in what will undoubtedly be a big change, but for the moment, the choice is in our hands.

- Separation plans were offered to about 4000 employees, which is virtually the entire corporate office. This does not mean that 4000 people will be out of a job. As a company, we are reinventing the way we manage the business, and that means streamlining work with fewer positions. However, I am sure this doesn’t mean that the company will run itself next year.

- This move is not taking place to enrich senior executive paychecks. Seriously. No one is enjoying this, it’s not making anyone rich. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Now on to what I had to say in the first place: my own thoughts and opinions…

First,  I am so thankful that through this process, our leadership has remained true to our company values. Values are a big thing to me; perhaps I’ll blog on that topic another time. Some people may feel like company values are just words on paper, but I certainly believe they are real. And that they direct the future of Best Buy.

That said, one of our values is “unleash the power of our people.” We truly do work to enable each individual to do their best – and we believe that their best will benefit the company and themselves.

I see this value being demonstrated right now. The power is in the hands of each of us. We determine our destinies. The word “voluntary” pretty much sums that up.

Second, I feel like this company respects me. They explained the situation to me. They told me about this in person. They told me before any rumors had a chance to start. They gave me a generous opportunity to start a new path in my life. They put the choice in my hands. And they continue to offer me support and resources to help make my decision. So, while a few people have suggested that I should feel hurt or betrayed, I just don’t. I feel honored.

And finally, I’ll say that, more than ever, I love this place. I have spent nearly my entire adult life here. The long hours have been worth it. My hard work has helped fuel the company’s success. And my passion for Best Buy’s future success has not waned. In fact, it has grown stronger. I feel that I have more work to accomplish, more people to help, and more of myself to offer here.

Of course, I am quite aware that my passion and work doesn’t guarantee my future here. In these times, nothing is guaranteed. I completely understand that.

Meanwhile, my mind remains fixed on one thought: My work here is not done yet.

So right now, I will continue to give it all I’ve got. Every day.