Not unusual behavior for a preschooler, right?  It would seem pretty standard. Except that his five older siblings really never did this. (Yes, there are six kids in all. More on that another time. Stay with me.)

That’s right: none of the other kids ever carried a toy companion, had an imaginary friend, or created any sort of pseudo-best-friend.

But, those kids had each other. The older five kids’ ages span only seven years, so they always had playmates. As pre-schoolers, they played games together, built forts, performed plays, and were generally inseparable.

When faced with the rare moment that these kids found themselves alone, they panicked. After mere  moments on their own, we heard them say, “there’s NOTHING to do, can I have a play date?”

It was actually troublesome. In fact, during their elementary school years, I worked hard to encourage them to build playing-alone skills: teaching them how to play solitaire, buying single-player games, and arranging times for each child to spend entertaining him/ herself.

Now, there’s this littlest brother, who is seven years younger than his closest sibling. He doesn’t have the constant companionship of peers. He learned early how to entertain himself.

And, just as early in life, he created a best friend, in Cha-Cha The Monkey, to accompany him.

All this has me thinking about what social creatures we all are. This isn’t a revolutionary concept; there are many scientific studies that reinforce this theme.

But, to see our social nature play out in such real ways, every day, confirms for me that I must continue to focus on the right things.

Our lives, our world, and our experiences are meant to be shared. God has created a place where we depend on one another. Where we yearn to share our lives. Where we expect to give and receive. And where, if we foster our relationships, lives will be forever better.

So, I thank you for being part of my life. Your presence here, in my social circle, is appreciated. Your companionship is treasured. Thank you.

On the bright side, during this time, grad school has started and my business, Sagefisher, continues to grow. More on those later.

For now, I also wanted to share something that I rarely talk about, and even more rarely write about: My life with lupus.

In case you’re not familiar, lupus is an autoimmune disease – one where the immune system gets, shall we say, a bit confused. Instead of doing its job by fighting off diseases, the immune system in someone with lupus starts attacking various parts of the body, as if they were a disease. For me, my immune system seems to have an obsession with my kidneys, which apparently look rather sinister to my immune system.

This struggle, with my own body, is one I’ve lived with for the last twenty years.

In recent months I’ve started to talk a lot more about my disease, my journey, and what I can do to help others who live with lupus. In fact, I’m now on the board of the Lupus Foundation of Minnesota, and for the first time in twenty years, I’ve written my story for their most recent newsletter.

What does all this mean to me? First, I feel like I’m being more open, more transparent about who I am. That’s a great feeling, especially since a big part of my business is to tout the benefits of transparency. Also, I’m thrilled to be taking steps to help other people (especially women, who are impacted by lupus nine times more often than men).

Most importantly, though, I feel like this is major progress toward a personal goal of mine: to integrate all the parts of my world into one cohesive life. Long ago, I kept my world compartmentalized – my work was quite distinct from my family, which I kept separated from my social life and my personal relationship with God. Then about ten years ago, I started thinking about all the interconnectedness of these parts, and actively trying to lead (what I call) One Life.

But, there was one exception. My lupus always seemed too risky. Too personal to share, outside of a very close circle of friends and family. And so, my One Life goal never really felt real to me.

Now, I feel like I’ve taken my first big, risky step toward One Life.

Now it’s real.

Like many, I could relate to his stories, his characters. Right now, though, I’ll share just the moment when I felt that John Hughes really knew me personally, understood me. (No, really.)

It was early 1987 and, like every other high school student on the planet, I had seen pretty much every John Hughes movie upon its release. Some Kind of Wonderful was about to arrive in theatres, and I planned to see that one too.

Coming home from school this particular day, I was elated to find a mysterious package addressed to me. Of course, I wasted no time: inside I found a John Hughes marketing kit — posters, buttons, “inside” info, some free music (cassettes? 45s? I can’t recall) and other movie paraphernalia. I pored over my new treasures all that evening.

The enclosed cover letter told me that I had been chosen to receive this kit because (well I don’t know what the letter really said; I was fifteen, so to me, I understood only that) I was the coolest teenager in the whole world, John Hughes knew that, and if I did a really good job making his upcoming movies successful, he’d give me a part in his next movie.

Yeah, pretty sure it was something like that.

As the evening wore on, I began to consider that all my friends probably received the same package, so I shouldn’t get too excited about it. Nevertheless, the next morning I pinned the Some Kind of Wonderful button on my backpack and went to school.

At my locker before the first bell, a friend asked me where I got the button. I, of course, was giddy that she had to ask. That day, I quickly learned that no one I knew had received this promo kit. I was truly destined to be the next Molly Ringwald. (Ok, probably more like Ally Sheedy. And not the made-over one.)

I walked on air for the next several weeks. The poster of Eric Stoltz and Mary Stuart Masterson on my wall was enough to pick me up from my deepest moments of teenage angst. My knowledge of details about a movie that was still filming (She’s Having a Baby) made me smile to myself at odd times during the day. No wonder my classmates thought me so odd.

Still, I did my best for Mr. Hughes, telling as many friends as would listen that these were the greatest movies of our time.

Years later, having seen Some Kind of Wonderful countless times, it remains my favorite John Hughes film. The recording of “This Woman’s Work” (featured in She’s Having a Baby) created in me a lifelong admiration for Kate Bush. If I really think about it, perhaps my love of marketing began the day I opened that package.

John Hughes never knocked on my door to offer me that movie role. Until yesterday, a tiny part of me held out hope that he still might.

And so, goodbye Mr. Hughes, with a belated but heartfelt thank you for the gift you sent me 22 years ago.

I’ve attended the EAA event countless times, having grown up in an aviation family and, more recently, being married to a private pilot. It’s always a fun time, becoming gradually more interesting to me as I’ve learned about it. At the same time, I am not one who, personally, has my heart set on flying. I don’t yearn for the freedom of flight. I don’t have an aching desire to soar above the clouds. So EAA has been fun, but has not been a particular passion of mine.

This year, however, EAA held a few surprises for me, ones that changed my perspective.

During the morning of my first day at the show, I met John, an airplane salesperson. Upon hearing about my background and my interest in helping companies better connect with their female consumer base, he said something that would change the rest of my EAA experience: “The aviation industry needs your help.”

At once, and for the rest of the weekend, I saw the show with new eyes. Everything felt even more familiar to me: the vendors speaking to male customers and virtually ignoring female ones. The testosterone-drenched marketing efforts. The awkward attempts to integrate and appreciate women in this decidedly man’s world.

It all seemed so similar to what I’ve experienced first-hand, working in the electronics industry. All the times in my career when I was the only woman on staff.  When I went out of my way to be “one of the guys.” When I began researching and teaching men about the power of the female consumer.

Everything I saw here had a direct parallel to my life’s experience.

Later that same day, EAA held its daily airshow – featuring an all-female cast of pilots, skydivers, wingwalkers and aerobatic performers – a first in the airshow’s 56-year history. But, the show’s impact was lessened by its bookend male acts, its fumbling commentator, and its patronizing soundtrack (you guessed it: “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”).

The organization was clearly making an effort; they just didn’t know how to do this right. At the end of the day, these amazing women pilots had showcased not their accomplishments, only their novelty. The entire episode felt more like a sideshow than the day’s main event.

In the evening, a “Women in Aviation” panel discussion continued the day’s theme. Female aviators described their passion for flying and told of the experiences that brought them here. As I watched, I saw women doing all they could to fit into a man’s world. When a couple of the panelists commented that they are “not typical women” and that they “can’t cook at all,” I could relate.

For me, it was never a conscious decision, just an instinct: over the years, I had modified my words and actions – slowly becoming one of the guys by drawing a distinction between me and the girls. I highlighted certain aspects of myself (I’m not into scrapbooking) while ignoring other parts (I love baking). To be one of the guys, I learned golf, smoked cigars, and took training to install car stereos. I was busy showing and telling that I could be accepted because I wasn’t a typical girl.

Only recently have I figured out that it’s not me who had to change, it’s the industry around me. That I could do more for the business, and for women, by working for both, instead of choosing one over the other.  That being boldly who I am – both typically feminine and uniquely me – will create positive change in the industry and in society.

In recent years, the electronics industry has started to consider the impact that women have. They’re seeing the opportunity, making gradual changes, and reaping the benefits of creating solutions for the other 51% of the population.

The aviation world is not there. But it’s moving.

I’ve decided to take a more active role, to help coax it in the right direction. My life has given me great insight into worlds like this one. I can help this industry.

And all the women who love to fly.

I gave answers like, “I’m not sure what’s gotten into me, but I’m going to a training about how to run for political office.”

Or, “I’ll be learning about how to campaign for office. But, I’m not planning to run for anything.”

After an incredible weekend spent with amazing women from around Minnesota and across the U.S., I’m still in a bit of shock about who I met, what I learned, and where it may take me.

I saw women from all backgrounds, some who hold office now, others who insist they’ll never run. Some college students, others who, within a decade, will be retiring from lifelong careers. Women interested in municipal government in their towns, tribal council in their villages, state congressional seats. And a few who long to be president.

During the weekend, these women learned how to raise funds, select staff, and run their campaigns. Most importantly, they learned to tell their stories, honestly, clearly, concisely.

This last skill is the one that still has my head spinning. These women told their stories – in heartfelt conversations, speeches, and even songs – of moments that changed them. Of personal heartache, refugee camps, homelessness,  violence. And, of survival and perseverance.

They told why they wanted to lead, why they could – and would – make a difference in the world around them.

I have no doubt that they will.

This experience has inspired me, slowly bringing me to the understanding that I, too, have a story to tell. That I want to make a difference. To lead a “political life.”

Not the politics that focuses on deceit, broken promises, and bureaucracy. But the kind that makes real change. That creates a society where  lives are better because I got involved in creating a solution for the world around me.

My story is still unfolding. I don’t have one clear mission for what I want to accomplish in the political arena.

But, I’m not going to make excuses anymore. I want to get involved. Whether this means running for office, supporting others who do, or involving myself in the issues of my communitiy, I want to lead a political life.

In all these reports, I have noticed one striking theme in interviews with Iranian citizens: that their concern, what really drives their passion, is this “landslide” victory – not its end result which keeps Ahmadinejad in power. As I read articles, watch news reports, hear radio commentaries, these citizens comment that if the election results had been closer, more “believable,” then the Iranian people would likely have accepted the outcome, and would not have risen up in anger.

Which brings me to the question that’s been on my mind: Why would the Iranian government  skew an election to yield such unbelievable results? If the objective was to remain in power, and they were intent on a particular election outcome, then couldn’t they have achieved the same result with a closer, let’s say 52% to 48%, victory? One where challenger Mir Hussein Moussavi could have received majority votes in more than two of Iran’s 31 provinces? In short, a result that appeared more plausible?

It seems to me that this is an issue of vanity. Someone – Ahmadinejad, supreme leader Khamenei, or others in power – wanted to be part of the winning team. Not the team that just barely won, but the team that won handily. This desire may have blinded them to the fact that a landslide victory would appear implausible to the people of their nation.  And would spark protests and reactions from the rest of the world.

In stark contrast to the government’s focus, the people of Iran have reacted by showing the strength of their community. In the midst of the Iranian government’s crackdown on journalism and social media – attempting to focus attention on back its own agenda – citizens have continued to hold silent protests, to share their stories, to document their experiences.

To me, this feels like a monumental example of how society is changing: The focus and power of “one” is giving way to the voices of many. Vain attempts to focus attention on one person, one entity, one “solution” is simply not realistic. Vast numbers of people, with their ability to organize and to distribute their message, are demanding that their voices be heard.

Of course, I don’t deny that there is a societal force to create icons from individuals – President Obama being the most obvious example – but I see changes in this iconic mentality as well. In the midst of an increasingly collaborative and participatory society, the icons themselves are asking for the community to get involved. Maybe it’s self-preservation, because the strength of any one personality will never withstand the scrutiny of the world. Maybe it’s the latest fad in sociological study, as all sorts of books and academic dialogue would suggest.

Or maybe it’s because the voices of the crowd, even without forethought and organization, are simply more powerful than the vain who wish to concentrate power unto themselves.

In between booths of artists selling their wares were a few non-art vendors, including the New York Times. While my mom and I passed by, the man working this booth suggested that we sign up for a NYT subscription. I thanked him, let him know that I receive all my news digitally, and complimented his employer on their mobile subscription and iPhone app.

The gentleman informed me that these digital subscription offerings do not include the full content from the New York TImes. To this, I replied that they should; it would be great to have access to all the great Times content digitally!

Then came the line that floored me:

“You should support print media.”

Really?

That’s it? I just “should”?

In that moment, I started to understand a major factor in the crisis that the newspaper industry is facing: they just think paper is better. Why? Because it is.

The argument for print media seems to say, “hey everybody, just start buying printed newspapers again, and then we can all go back to normal.”

I do understand that the newspaper business model has been turned upside down. That newspapers are going bankrupt. That advertising revenues fell nearly 30% in the first quarter of 2009.

This is an extraordinary time, and the whole newspaper industry is changing. To say the least, it’s not easy.

But the situation garners less pity from me when I hear people defend and encourage the industry’s current state. This position implies that there is an inherent value in the print distribution of the content. Which is odd, because the paper itself is simply a distribution channel. And channels come and go with time.

Prior to newspapers, town criers just yelled out the news. Later, papers were hawked by newsies on street corners. More recently, newspaper carriers delivered papers to customers’ homes. Today, news is available in a myriad of formats, both written and broadcast. Now, distribution models for news are changing again. More fundamentally this time.

The New York Times – like every paper – needs to understand that its value is in its content. Not its medium. People like me still want news. We want in-depth reporting. We want insightful journalism. The market is there.

For my part, I will register. I’ll provide my demographic profile. I’ll read ads. I’ll subscribe.

And so, I’m confident that a new business model will emerge – whether it is fee-based, ad-supported, social or non-profit – that makes this service viable. Along the way, some news services will fail. Others will succeed.

The newspapers that focus on their content, and experiment with different business models, will survive. And thrive. Albeit, reinvented. The ones who ask digital subscribers to switch back to paper will fail.

When our lives are mobile, paperless, streaming, we need to have our journalism provided in a medium that fits our lifestyle.

In a word: digital.

On Thursday, I visited Becky* and her family, who live a couple hours’ drive outside of Minneapolis, on a communal farm. Hers and four other families live in a “fellowship,” where they live simply, share what they have, homeschool their kids, and spend a lot of time in worship.

Becky – who now goes by her given name, Rebekah – has two children. Malachi, nicknamed Chi, is twelve and little Calla is six. (Becky’s husband Greg wasn’t home so I didn’t get a chance to meet him.) The kids are beautiful, polite, sweet. They told me about their lives, and their love of the fellowship’s animals: horses, chickens, and sheep, among others.

Soon after arriving at Becky’s house, we meandered to the kitchen to prepare lunch. Becky makes many meals from scratch, both giving to and taking from the fellowship’s communal cupboard. For lunch, she used ingredients from bulk containers – a gallon of honey, a quart of mustard – to make dressing for our chicken salad. (The chickens had been raised by the fellowship last year.) Our dessert, fruit with yogurt sauce, included homemade yogurt from another fellowship member.

After lunch, we moved to the living room and continued our conversation. Becky showed off her family’s new television, a 19″ tube television connected to a VCR. Videotapes sat in a cupboard – Daniel Boone, Old Yeller, My Friend Flicka, and other staples of a bygone era. I learned that twelve-year-old Chi has already become enamored with the TV, wanting to watch it more often than his parents find appropriate.

I didn’t see much of Chi – he was outside in the barn for most of the afternoon. Beautiful Calla stayed in the house with us, often carrying one of the family’s two-week-old kittens. She talked of her favorite TV show, Daniel Boone, and showed off her homemade rifle, made from a long tree branch, with a bit of hardware fashioned into a trigger and scope.

Throughout the day, Becky talked of her lifestyle. She loves that her kids have “a wholesome life.” She learned to cook (”something I’m not very good at,” she said) from other ladies in the fellowship. She teaches her children, occasionally expressing doubt about her own abilities as a teacher. And she apologetically talked of her longtime friends’ assessment of her lifestyle as being like Little House on the Prairie.

Of course, the elements of this life are so different than my family’s. My kids are techies; each has an ipod (including the four-year-old) and they all love video games. On busy nights, they heat up Easy Mac for dinner — in a microwave that I’m sure would seem quite foreign to Calla. They participate in school activities and sports. They ride city buses.

What may seem odd is that, to me at least, Becky’s life and mine didn’t feel all that different. We agree on the virtues of a simple life. For her, this is an everyday experience; for me, this is cabin life. Our families are both strong in our faith. The expressions of our faith are very different, but our desire to serve God is the same.

Still, there is a part of me that worries about Becky. She has grown quieter, more subdued than she was years ago — probably more notable to me, as I’ve grown louder and bolder with time. Her laugh is a mere chuckle. Her smile is shy. And her voice is soft.

I pray that she has not given up a part of herself as she strives to be a good wife and mother. I pray that her passing comment about her less-than-perfect marriage is a reflection of the idiosyncrasies in every marriage and not a mournful regret. I pray that her children will grow up to be strong and ready to experience the larger world, full of bureaucracies, health insurance, taxes and YouTube.

And most of all, I pray that the last 20 years of life have given her fulfillment and joy. Because while I understand the appeal of living in a bygone era, I hope that she has received as much as she has given.

* Not their real names. I didn’t ask permission to write about them.

This month has been jammed full of me trying to figure stuff out – my business, my educational plans, my philanthropic efforts, and my family. And, it is indeed slowly coming together. In fact, so much has come together that this post can’t very well describe it all.

Instead, here are a few random thoughts from this month of May:

• Titles are entertaining. Starting my own business means that I need to assign myself a title, something that I am not enjoying. What I am enjoying, however, is that I now notice and appreciate everyone else’s titles. At Shell Oil, there is a position called “Game Changer.” Now that is a title. On a lighter note, Amanda Brinkman is the “Chief Gardener” at Carrot. And, my newly-deemed favorite title, from our friends at NATO, is “Supreme Allied Commander.” All this hasn’t really helped me give myself a title, but it sure is fun.
• Public transit is awesome. When I was at Best Buy, I was provided a free MetroPass, which gave me limitless access to the Twin Cities’ bus system. I used this benefit quite frequently. Now, I still regularly ride the bus, even though I have to pay bus fare. At some point, I’ll blog about all the reasons that the bus system is so great, but for now, just know that my adoration of public transit is not impacted by the price I pay for it.
• I’m an extrovert. Yes, I knew this already. So did you. But in this month of setting my own pace, defining my schedule, building my daily agendas, my extroverted tendencies have become glaringly apparent. The days that are filled with meetings and conference calls are my good days. Days when I resolve to “get work done” – at my desk, solitary – are huge drainers for me.

Tomorrow will start the month of June.

By month’s end, I will have defined a business rhythm that starts each day by engaging with others so that I can keep my energy high. I will have continued to ride the bus around town, even if fares are raised again. And, I will have chosen some title for myself, even if I don’t have the courage to print “Supreme Commander” on my business cards.

As in, am I sure that I’m ready to depart from the company where I’ve worked for so long? Am I sure that I want to take this big a risk? Am I sure that I’m ready to leave behind the career that I’ve built here?

More than ever, I am sure.

In the past few weeks, I’ve spent a lot of time connecting with dear friends, old and new. The conversations often start with that familiar “are you sure” discussion, and, somewhere in the middle, they fundamentally change. The concerned looks change to excitement. The worried questions change to congratulations. And the conversations end with the same, somewhat surprised, comment: “You look really happy.”

Then, this week I attended an event downtown, a presentation in the series “Conversations about the Future of Advertising.” I met amazing people there. I learned a lot. And – surprise – I talked a lot too. All the random thoughts about where I want to take my career came together as I talked with others.

For me, the conversations were enlightening, energizing, and a whole bunch of other e-words that befit a dialogue about social media and online advertising. I absolutely couldn’t get enough of it — both the possibilities and the challenges that lie ahead in this space.

I left knowing, without a doubt, that this is my future. This is where I belong. This is where I will forge my own future.

You’ll hear more from me soon, as I assemble my thoughts into a coherent strategy.

Until then, just know that I’m content. Excited even.

And yes, I am sure.