My online persona has a few different names. The most pervasive is my given name (and the title of this blog). Another is more personal, but has a long history: lovelyginger.

I’ve thought about abandoning this name, since the era of screen names continues to wane. Still, the name has sentimental value for me. It reminds me of my journey. Of lessons that I’ve learned. And that I am loved.

And so the name remains.

For the curious ones who haven’t yet asked, I’ll explain the story. But telling the story of lovelyginger requires telling the story of David.

David was my Ancient Hebrew Studies professor at the University of Wisconsin. Among other fascinating traits (which I’ll save for another time), David spoke often of his wife, el Susan. Always clearly filled with adoration for her, he would mention the insightful comments she made and her clever turns of phrase.

I thought it slightly odd that my professor would include “el” before his wife’s name, but as a Hebrew professor, I figured that this was probably rooted in the some mysterious literary purpose known only to PhDs.

Then, one day, in response to a classmate’s question, David explained: the name was not el Susan, it was L. Susan. The L was short for Lovely, and he used the term to refer to his wife, each and every time he used her name. He wanted to remind both himself and his wife that she was beautiful. And deeply loved.

For nearly twenty years, David’s overwhelming love for his wife has made me well up with tears. His intense love for her is simply beyond words.

I’ve told the story of David many times, to friends and family and boyfriends. So often that I can’t keep track and have likely repeated myself on countless occasions.

Then in 1999, as I sat isolated and alone in my hospital bed, suffering from the most severe lupus flare of my life, my boyfriend paid me a visit. He brought with him a laptop, so I could reconnect with my friends. And he had set up a Hotmail account for me: lovelyginger.

He didn’t need to say anything more. I was forever his.

Still today, still in love with the same man, I use lovelyginger in online spaces. And each time I’m on Twitter or elsewhere, I remember that I am beautiful. And am deeply loved.